Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Point of View from Victim

It was late at night, darkness and silence pervaded around the chamber. I was in my bed, clad in my P.J’S and soft blankets. I was cold, since the house's inventory of blankets was low, I only had one. My mouth was dry with dehydration, and I was stone cold. I heard a gruesome noise, echoing throughout the chamber. I gingerly examined the black room, but saw nothing. I lied down again, but then I heard heavy footsteps. I recognized the sound. I endeavoured to be calm, not leap out and shout; I just lied there. I surmised it was the guy again, since I recognized the footsteps from before. I had a grimace on my face, since I was uncomfortable and did not know what was going on.

The door creaked open, the footsteps grew louder, and I could hear my heart now beating very fast. At that moment, I was getting smothered with a mattress, pushing down on my face. It electrified me, quick as a flash onto my face. The guy was doing a cursory murder, quick and easy. I derived he wanted to kill me, but I didn’t know why, I thought we were good friends, but I guess we weren’t. I scratched and clawed, struggling to get some air. I saw he had abrasions on his face, I corroborated it was from my hands. I succumbed, I couldn’t take anymore; then I was still. Not moving, heart... not beating. Stone dead.

2 comments:

  1. I like how you described how the victim was feeling before he was killed.(You keep spelling recognized wrong):)
    -paola c. rivera

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  2. Wow! That was really descriptive! I really liked how you used all of the Wordly Wise words and where you put pauses in the text to make it more dramatic. However you forgot to underline the word "derived he wanted to kill me" but other than that it was excellent!

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